Fictional Rove/Perry Exchange

It is a fact that Rick Perry use to be a Democrat. Yeah, it’s true! Also, if I recollect correctly, Karl Rove was the dude that talked him into switching parties.

This is a fictional account of their meeting:

As Karl walked to his car, he finally remembered why he wanted to talk with that guy Perry from the Democrat party. Frankly, he seemed more unscrupulous than himself, which Karl didn’t think was possible. Karl thought he would have a much brighter future as a Republican. Besides, he has a soft place in his heart for scoundrels.

(arrival at Perry’s congressional office)

Karl: Good to see you again, Congressman.

Rick: Karl, I don’t think we’ve ever met, but I do know who you are.

(Karl reads this comment by Rick as a sign that Rick holds Karl in pretty high esteem. Not a sure thing, but Karl is pretty pleased with the way the conversion is going. Karl sees himself as a highly intuitive guy and does, I would have to concur, have a gift!)

Karl: I’m sorry. I thought we had met. I do recollect seeing you do a speech at the Houston Rotary Club and, if you don’t mind me saying, I was quite impressed with you. Let me be frank, would you be interested in joining the Republican Party?

Rick: I beg your pardon. No, I believe I am happier right where I am. You have a lot of nerve, Karl. I think you had better go.

(Karl understands that Rick’s manly Texas honor would require him to resist, but it was all a feint)

Karl: I’m sorry, Congressman, if I offended you. The reason I even brought this possibility up with you was that I thought our political views were in line. Forgive me. I can see that I was mistaken.

Rick: Alright, alright, Karl. Please, sit down.

(Rick was pleased to have such an important man in his office, and did want to shoot the breeze with Karl. But, Karl already knew that.)

Rick: I’m sorry for flying off the handle like I did.

(Rick would have been wise to stop right there, but he continued.)

(unfortunate failure to at least slow down and pause, something similar to what that AK women does)
Rick: Rakes often fly off the handle
you know
I stepped on the tines of a rake and the damn thing knocked me silly. My makeup people had a hell of a time covering that red welt across my forehead up.

(Karl noted that the ice had been broken between himself and the congressman. Damn, that was so easy. Is this guy for real? No one could be that dumb, Karl thought. Karl slowly moved to a very comfortable looking leather chair where he might be able to talk candidly with the congressman, as that was his plan.

Knowing that the desk between himself and his mark would limit his ability to use his special “x-ray” vision (he chuckled to himself), he choose an office location where two chairs were aligned with the greatest effect.

Karl intentionally took the chair that he was sure the congressman favored just to see how he would react. As expected, congressman Perry’s shoulders slumped just for an instant and then sat in the adjacent chair. This is too easy, Karl thought.

Abruptly, Karl stood up!)

Karl: Congressman, I must excuse myself, I just remembered I have an important meeting with the Governor.

(Surprised, the congressman stood up)

Karl: Rick, it was great meeting you.

(brief pause as if to appear as if the next statement just crossed his mind without showing the congressman that this was his plan all along)

Karl: You know, a good politician, such as yourself, can become a wealthy man in Republican politics. Think about it.

(Karl, realized that he was wasting his time with this guy. He didn’t have to schmooze with this moron. All he had to do was make an appeal to his greed.)

 



This entry was posted on Friday, August 26th, 2011 at 11:37 pm and is filed under Current Events, Government, Humor, Politics, Prose, Psychology, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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